I recently completed Sylvia Lafair’s book “Don’t Bring it to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success”. As the title suggests, this book is focused on how family behaviors manifest themselves at work, and how, by recognizing these patterns, you can change them and improve your relationships and be more successful.
In the interest of full disclosure, I should note that I have participated in workshops conducted by LaFair. I was an ardent skeptic beginning the workshops and a passionate believer after living the experience, so I was somewhat predisposed to a positive feeling about the book.
Still, I wasn’t sure how the process of discovery would translate into a book. It is a very complex and interactive process, but Sylvia does a masterful job capturing the essence of the journey and giving you the direction you need for self discovery. The tools in the book are helped tremendously with group interaction, but are still useful for an individual who has learned to be honest with his (or her) self.
For the most part what made the book a success for me is that it is truly delightful to read. With a casual “real language” style, LaFair layers anecdotes from personal experience with public stories to paint compelling pictures of the “family members” we all find in the workplace. The identities are undeniable and this simple awareness is the first important step along the path. The stories are shocking, funny, saddening and heartwarming, and are told with a true sense of caring and passion.
The “technical” parts of the book are well done, if not “page turner” material. They aren’t supposed to be, these are real exercises and the reader who wants to grow will not simply read this book, but will experience it.
By recognizing family patterns and arming yourself with a few tools to interrupt those patterns, you truly can transform your own behavior. You can also develop an insight into why others act as they do and this can give you a strong leg up in building productive relationships.
BridgeGap Engineering is all about developing relationships that work for everyone, and these tools are part of our everyday vocabulary. We recommend you read Sylvia’s book and start your own journey of self discovery. A rising tide lifts all ships.